My colleague showed me his blog and I realised: I want to blog! 

It's been a while since I've had time to blog or vlog - which I also want to do - but the last few months there's this itchy feeling. This yearning to get back out there and publish again. I've been going through some rough times. Of course there was Corona, a new job, a new business, kids growing up and because of all that: a new identity. The job was A LOT of work, which was one of the reasons why I hadn't been publishing a lot in the past years. The second reason, which perhaps was the MAIN reason: the business always had priority, but just wouldn't come off the ground. Then, because I was doing the impossible (job + business + kids) and with Covid added to that - I got overworked. So I had to rest. I almost quit my job at that time, but luckily realized that was perhaps not the smartest way to handle things. So I stayed and rested and am still searching to find a new balance: again, a new identity. Or not so much a new identity, but a more centered, authentic me. 

When I'm looking at all I have online that is exactly how it comes across to me: ditrisbuted. All over the place. Instagram, youtube, linkedIn articles, my company website. It's everywhere. But where is the 'home' of it all? I think it should be here. I have had that feeling that I need to simplify my life and that's definitely true for my online life. Why did I compartmentalize it all? It makes me think of before; before I realized that I was a person with a hidden aspect. Because of my uncommon youth (growing up in Africa) I would only show one of my personalities: the Dutch, highly educated me. The other part of me remained hidden most of the time, because it just didn't fit the people around me and the work at hand. I realized that I was hiding part of myself around 2016 I think and tried to shrug off that mask in the following year. With starting my own business I thought I would finally be able to show my true self, but I guess I still had some soul searching to do for that. Because who am I, really? I have no idea. And I must say it has become less important for me since I've come to realize that I am ever changing. Hell, I would love to have 4 different lives or more! I'd like to live nine lives if I could! But still, I'm convinced that I've lived through all that I've lived through for a reason and I must do somethingh with it. To 'just live' is nog enough for me. That is why I won't give up my business, even if progress is eerily slow.

So, let's go, let's blog, reorganize, grow and flow...